Wednesday, February 21, 2018

The Shape Of Water



We went to see The Shape of Water. Unfortunately, I had a laughing fit in the key scene, (The Ziegfeld Follies scene) as I thought it was so ridiculous and cliched. (David and Sam had both their hands over my mouth) In a small cinema too, what's more.

It was a gorgeous film to look at, the design was fabulous.

However... just more American pap, in my opinion.


Monday, February 19, 2018

Update on the Speakers



The B&O speaker was returned. And the Zeppelin has been replaced. It has now taken up residence in our bedroom for night music.

We now have two Apple home pods (I told you Sam is an Apple nut) in our lounge room through which to play music. The sound is good, what can I say?

I'm not really interested in the "Hey Siri nonsense," but the sound is good, I have to say. (The corporate world and their evil marketing departments spying on us withstanding)

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Religion Fucked up the World

Religion fucked up the world. I think that most of us understand that. All those native tribesmen would have been safe with their traditions. All the gay kids around the world would never have been put down. All those Aboriginal kids would never have been taken from their parents. All those unwanted children would never have been born. All those unhappy marriages would never have been performed. All of the poor in India would have had their lives saved and not just their souls. All those children would never have been molested in the name of the great sky fairy. All those wars, all of those deaths, all of that suffering would never have occurred if ignorant men with small penises, no doubt, hadn't shouted, "My god is better than your god."

Religion is like those hotel booking apps, Trivargo and Hotels dot whatever, you know the ones, totally unneeded, as you can simply book directly with a hotel. Just like with religion, you can just engage with the real world, rather than subscribing to an intermediary, to tell you how to engage with the real world.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

My Own Romance Scam

These romance scams, I don't know what to make of them? Of course, they are unbelievably cruel exploiting people's loneliness and need for love, of course that is true. Exploiting the vulnerable is reprehensible and I hope the perpetrators of such crimes get what is coming to them. You know, made to wear makeup and assume the name of Cheryl while someone bigger and crueller makes them their jailhouse bitch. That seems fitting to me. Held down by bigger men than them and... well, you can fill in the rest.

But handing over money sometimes in the hundreds of thousands, I don't understand that. It just seems nonsensical. (Admittedly, I am a bit tight with my money, however...)

Quite a few years ago, I was seeing a nice Italian boy, it was very casual, as far as I was concerned, just sex really. But he was cute and funny and I liked him and he really liked it up his arse, but then again what Italian boy doesn't?

We saw each other for a few months, he fulfilled a need for me, and I assumed I filled a need for him. He told me how lovely I was, how I was the best he'd ever had. How he missed me when I wasn't around. He even dreamed about me, so he said. Yah, yah, yah. So many compliments, over the top really for me, the cynical one.

At about the third month, he called me at work and said he was having some financial difficulty. He was selling his car, but he'd found the new car he wanted to buy and he wanted me to lend him 30K to pay for the new car, which was such a good deal he felt he couldn't pass it up. As soon as he sold his current car, he would be able to pay me back. 

My initial response was to laugh, which I distinctly remember he didn't take too kindly. Momentary Silence. Crickets. Really, I barely know you, I thought, and you want me to lend you thirty thousand dollars. Then I told him that I didn't have 30K to lend to him.

I never heard from him again.

I felt like I was being ripped off, really, and I guess I was. I thought we had a nice thing, I guessed not. Maybe, he was just indignant at my response to his financial difficulties, you know, laughing, maybe. I don't really know. But I did feel with that phone call he was scamming me. What's more, he worked for a Bank, so why would he need money from me, I thought?

All those compliments? Did he mean any of them? I guess not. Was the whole thing fake? What was I meant to think?

Friday, February 09, 2018

I Have To Get My Own Lunch

Bear just shits anywhere she wants, that is the main problem with her. Buddy, never. Always up in the back corner of the garden, on top of the old composite site. Suddenly, there is dog shit in all sorts of places it has never been. As Sam says, "She leaves her shit across the back yard like landmines."

We're always standing in it

She's just crapped right outside the back door.

They are none too pleased, the dogs, as they have been outside all morning as I am waiting for a parcel to be delivered. Sam is, of course, tracking it, so I am getting constant up dates from him. The two of the dogs maraud to the front door like an out of control wolf pack, every time the doorbell rings. Buddy snorting, Bear barking. Show me, show me, show me. Oh, Me, me, me. Me, me, me. Pant, pant, pant. It is really hard to deal with, and receive the parcel, as more often than not the delivery person is scared of dogs, and the delivery guy just wants to run. I have had a parcel thrown at me from the front gate. And the whole thing is a spectacle.

So, they have been out the back all morning. The parcel arrived with minutes of being able to be called a morning delivery.

Then once the parcel had been delivered, Sam informed me there is a second parcel, so the pooches have to stay outside for a little longer.

Buddy has been waiting patiently to be let in, for all the back door opens and closes up until this point, but now he is curled up in his kennel and he doesn’t seem to give a toss.

"A second parcel you say," says Buddy. "I don't care."

Sam isn't coming home for lunch, I have to get my own?

Thursday, February 08, 2018

Favourite Things To Do

I wrote a story called, Nate, about four straight male mates. Nate is the closeted gay one. He gets drunk and has sex with one of the other guys, through who's eyes the story is told. They fess up to their other two buddies, one of which talks about his gay experiences. In the process, Nate comes out as gay. The fourth friend hasn't had any gay experiences, and the whole saga prompts him to marry his long time girlfriend. 

That's it so far.

I fell asleep on the couch listening to music.

Wednesday, February 07, 2018

The Zeppelin


Sam likes buying speakers. He is always trying to replace whatever speaker we have currently, in our lounge room, for something better. I'm not complaining, you understand, even if it does get all my anti consumerism hackles rising. Good sound, it would appear, tops the health of the planet.

Yes, feel free to call me a hypocrite any time you want. Go ahead.

He always buys them on Sale, at a half price discount price, if he can. He has a good eye for a bargain. Sam doesn't pay the asking price for anything.

Be still my beating hackles. (Destroying the planet at a discount rate?)

We've had a few speakers, it is true to say. Some got returned to the shop when they proved to be inferior. Some were returned because they were broken. Some were kept, replacing whatever speaker we had at the time. He gives all of our castoffs to his brother and sisters, so that must count for something. They have the best audio equipment of anybody they know. (Too much?)

However, we have had a zeppelin styled speaker for the longest time. (I guess I should work out what type of speaker that, actually, is, but it is the one that looks like a zeppelin) It has beaten all challengers, thus far.

The latest unit up for the test, is a B&O unit. (I had to look, I had no idea otherwise) It looks like a beige box.

Apparently, I fell asleep on the couch at 8pm. I got some hooch, I have to be truthful.

"Mark is down," I say.
"Any fucken excuse," says Sam.
Sam says he hates coming home every day to stoner eyes, while I think I am being delightful.
"And you fall asleep at 8.30pm on the couch," says Sam.
But, I digress.

I woke at 10.30pm with Sam comparing the old zeppelin speaker to the new B&O speaker. I woke to music playing.
"What do you think of this?" says Sam.
"Where am I?"
"Do you like this sound?"
The lounge room comes into focus. "What?"
"Hang on, I'll switch them." Thank the universe for modern technology, mercifully the music wasn't changing too.
"Switch what?" I pull myself up in the couch, I feel like I weigh 200 kilos.
"Which one do you think this is?"
"Which one is what?"
"Do you like this one?"
"Huh?"
"Hang on, I'll switch back."
"You are making me dizzy."
"Come on, it is an easy question," says Sam. "What do you think?"
"I like this one better." It somehow felt warmer.
We switched backwards and forwards a few times, as I wiped the sleep out of my eyes.
Surprisingly, the zeppelin still holds up.

“Which do you think is better?” asks Sam. He switches between speakers again. I was trying to focus, one eye closed, trying to backtrack to the last thing I remembered.
“So, what do you think?”
“This one,” I said. “Which one is this?”
“The zeppelin.”

They were both good, as he switched speakers again, but somehow the zeppelin still gives a warmer tone.